Threesomes can be a turn-on for some and the ultimate turn-off for others.
While they're a common fantasy - whether two girls and a guy or the less common two guys and a girl - in the real world they're not always as great as they were in your head.
When threesomes go wrong they can spell the end of a perfectly good relationship and/or friendship.
You'd have to be living on another planet to have missed the media's growing obsession for threesomes...
Starting with 1994's Threesome movie starring Stephen Baldwin, and in recent years we've had Britney's 3 video, the Gossip Girl ménage à trois and billboard adverts from Dolce & Gabbana and Calvin Klein Jeans.
The threesome trend promoted by the media doesn't necessarily comment on a real sexual revolution in society - threesomes have been around since sex was invented - but their increasing visibility in more mainstream media has made them seem like a "must-do" sex-ploit on many a tick-list or a solution to spice up a relationship.
Ultimately a threesome can either be a bit of harmless fun or a quick-fire way to a break-up.
Four readers share their experiences of threesomes, along with the after-effects. And we asked sexologist Catherine Blanc for her thoughts on threesomes...
Naomi's story - 2 guys & 1 girl |
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I'd been going out with Greg for two years when he admitted to me that one of his fantasies was to have sex with me and one of my friends.
To get even, I replied that it would be quite nice to do it with his mate Tom as well.
Against all my expectations, he said: "You're on! If we do it with him first, we'll do it with your mate afterwards."
At the time, I didn't have a lot of confidence in myself and I was worried he'd leave me so I accepted the deal. He convinced me by saying that it would bring us closer together, that we'd experience something special together and that it would spice up our sex life.
His single mate Tom had no problem accepting. On the day, I was a bit nervous but as the night went on, I loosened up. The boys constantly gave me compliments and made me feel at ease. Then the serious stuff started...
Greg first watched Tom pleasure me, which I enjoyed, then he took over and we ended up all three together! I really enjoyed it and I thought Greg did too.
After-effect
But after Tom left, Greg completely changed his tune and turned aggressive. He accused me of enjoying myself with Tom more, and said I'd been more bothered about satisfying Tom:
"You did things to him you've never done to me! You've really disappointed me. You're such a slag!" and he just continued to insult me...
Humiliated and feeling sick, I left and went home to my place. We tried to carry on with our relationship over the next couple of months but it didn't work, something wasn't right between us.
I never thought that out of the two of us, he'd be the one who would cope so badly with a threesome!
To get even, I replied that it would be quite nice to do it with his mate Tom as well.
Against all my expectations, he said: "You're on! If we do it with him first, we'll do it with your mate afterwards."
At the time, I didn't have a lot of confidence in myself and I was worried he'd leave me so I accepted the deal. He convinced me by saying that it would bring us closer together, that we'd experience something special together and that it would spice up our sex life.
His single mate Tom had no problem accepting. On the day, I was a bit nervous but as the night went on, I loosened up. The boys constantly gave me compliments and made me feel at ease. Then the serious stuff started...
Greg first watched Tom pleasure me, which I enjoyed, then he took over and we ended up all three together! I really enjoyed it and I thought Greg did too.
After-effect
But after Tom left, Greg completely changed his tune and turned aggressive. He accused me of enjoying myself with Tom more, and said I'd been more bothered about satisfying Tom:
"You did things to him you've never done to me! You've really disappointed me. You're such a slag!" and he just continued to insult me...
Humiliated and feeling sick, I left and went home to my place. We tried to carry on with our relationship over the next couple of months but it didn't work, something wasn't right between us.
I never thought that out of the two of us, he'd be the one who would cope so badly with a threesome!
Monika's story - 2 girls & 1 guy |
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After a day spent skiing, we got our New Year dinner ready with lots of champagne on the menu! We drank loads and ended up playing 'Truth or Dare". One of the first dares was for me: I had to kiss Sophie on the lips!
With the alcohol helping, the challenges became more and more daring e.g. do a strip tease, perform a raunchy dance, simulate a sex act, shout "Happy New Year!" naked from the balcony...
And then, things went a bit further! We found ourselves on the sofa bed kissing and touching each other. We even took a shower together. We didn't go as far as penetration, and it's for that reason, I think with hindsight, that we didn't feel like we were doing anything forbidden. We then went to sleep semi-comatose.
After-effect
Two hours later, we were abruptly woken up by the next lot of guests who were due to stay in our chalet! We were in such a rush to tidy everything up and catch our train that we didn't really have time to reflect properly on what had happened.
But once we got on the train, we burst out laughing. Thakfully we all agreed that this was a complete one-off. It happened four years ago and it's very rare that it's even been mentioned since, if it has, then just with a cheeky smile and nothing more.
Nobody else knows about it. It's remained our secret.
Jessica's story - 2 girls and 1 guy |
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I didn't want to have one with a second man; the idea scared me, it seemed too rough physically. So we decided to give it a go with another woman. I'm not a lesbian but the idea had always turned me on.
To prevent any awkwardness or jealousy, we agreed to find someone who we'd never see again. We registered on a specialist threesomes website and we selected the ideal candidate. It was important that both of us liked her but I didn't want her to be as pretty as me - I know that sounds ridiculous but I didn't want feel like I was competing with her!
We arranged to meet in a hotel room because it was out of the question for me to do it in the intimacy of our own home. We didn't waste time pretending to get to know each other and she started things off by undressing and touching me.
With great delight, I let her carry on, and my husband was initially quite happy just watching us. After a while he joined in and much to my surprise, he wasn't all over her! He just focused on me, like she did... and I absolutely loved it!
With great delight, I let her carry on, and my husband was initially quite happy just watching us. After a while he joined in and much to my surprise, he wasn't all over her! He just focused on me, like she did... and I absolutely loved it!
After-effect
When she was leaving, she asked me: "It was just for your benefit, right?"
Apparently so!
For a while, this "lesbian" experience troubled me but more than anything, I was reassured and surprised to see that my husband wasn't attracted to the other woman in the end! We've never wanted to repeat the experience since but as a one off, it was great.
When she was leaving, she asked me: "It was just for your benefit, right?"
Apparently so!
For a while, this "lesbian" experience troubled me but more than anything, I was reassured and surprised to see that my husband wasn't attracted to the other woman in the end! We've never wanted to repeat the experience since but as a one off, it was great.
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